Our First Two Days

Lots of big feelings going on inside. I wasn't feeling any regrets as we approached our first day, only ... a sense of loneliness or something. I'm not sure. I'm still working through the feelings.

I followed the advice of K12 and am doing the 'gentle start' program they advocate in the "First Five Days" Elluminate Speaker Series. Thank goodness for that, because the academic start has been manageable. What's getting to me is, again, this emotional aspect.

My boys are missing their friends. We live very near the elementary school and always pass it if we leave for errands and even can hear the children playing when they are out for recess. They are very aware of what they are missing. I feel sad for them. I know that what I'm doing is the right thing for them in the long run ... it's this darn short run I hope I have the patience to see them through.

I wish I could take a picture of our little office. Up until a day before school started I still hadn't decided on where would be best to store the material and such. Finally I managed and so far it's working very well. Just wish I could show you.

On Monday we started with Language Arts. Though both my boys are in grade three, Charlie tested lower in language arts and math, so he's doing second grade coursework in those classes. Since the first lesson or two are review, Charlie's were very simple, whereas Xan's were a bit more challenging.

I was extremely surprised by what I saw. Charlie (my usually contrary boy) got right to work. Xander, (my usually dilligent boy) however, talked incessantly, danced around, couldn't focus, wouldn't work and took all day to complete only a fraction of his work.

I'm hopeful that Xander will quickly come to see the benefits of getting his work done - I'm praying I don't strangle him before he gets there!

Thankfully, today was better. We did math and both boys breezed through it. Yay!

Tomorrow is History and Science. I think they will both like that because there are games to be played online and outdoor activities. But, we'll also be doing two subjects so ... a little yikes! at that one.

I spoke with an acquaintance this morning and when I told her I was homeschooling the boys, she said "Good for you!" My response was startling, even to myself. I had to fight back the tears, and all I could say was "Thank you."

No one else has had that reaction. Everyone I've talked to around here, is well, rather discouraging. It's kind of hard to see my neighbors going about their lives feeling so much like the one on the outside.

I'm not expressing myself very well, but my purpose in this blog was to share my journey, so maybe my inability is telling as it is.

Onward and upward, right? I sure hope so.

An Interview with Summer Miller ~ K12 Mom

Summer has a great K12 blog of her own where she shares her experiences. Check it out to learn more about her and her family. I'm grateful that she agreed to stop by today and answer my questions.

I hope to interview other K12 moms, so if there's something else you would like to know that I haven't already asked, please feel free to post it in the comments and I'll be sure to add it to my list of questions!

Why did you choose to home school your kids?

I was spending at least 40 hours a week working with the school on PTA and making sure that they were servicing my sons IEP, and protecting my daughter from the evils of middle school. I decided that I should listen to my gut and try doing it myself. After all, I believe in Love and Logic and who better to do that than their mother.

Why did you choose to use the K12 curriculum?

I had looked into traditional home schooling and the amount of information out there was overwhelming. When a friend told me about k12 I was so excited. I liked the idea of everything being done for me so I could spend my time working and playing with my kids instead of trying to come up with the next lesson.

What are the ages of your children?

14, 12, 8, 5

What is a typical school day like in your home?

I like my sleep so when I get up (about 730) we have prayers and scriptures, breakfast, clean up whatever mess we left from the day before and then the kids hit the books. Sometimes we find ourselves running errands in the morning and then school work has to wait until we're done. We are extremely flexible. If we want to go to the fair, we do. If it looks like a great day to go sledding then we just finish our school work after we've thawed out. I try to remember that the most important part of schooling is learning, sometimes that happens better outside or on the aisles of the grocery store.

In your opinion what are the strengths of the K12 program? What are its weaknesses?

They take the guess work out of what to teach. I know my kids are learning what they need to for state testing but in a way that better suits their personality. I like their literature program that focuses on the classics. Sometimes the lessons can be so in depth that we don't finish them. That is one of the best things about k12, I can make that decision and not feel guilty.

In regard to your home school, what do you plan to do differently this year from last?

I dropped a couple of classes this year. I am supplementing the program with stuff that is specific to my children's interest. Bailey loves to cook and decorate cakes so that will be the primary focus for her art this year.

What advice would you offer a prospective or new K12 parent?

Relax. Trust the curriculum. Have fun with your kids. Remember that learning to learn is more important than regurgitating a bunch of facts.

Try

Yesterday I got to go to another K12 get-together. Thank goodness for Tami and her family because she is always setting up these playdates and they are so good for me--oh yeah, and good for my boys too ;)

Yesterdays' playdate was the best one yet for me. Kelli, Tami and Summer were there, as well as Roxanne. This was my third time seeing Tami and Summer and my second for Kelli--first for Roxanne. And yesterday I felt like I was IN. I felt like I knew these girls a bit better and I felt like I got some real help and understanding from them.

And yesterday, I really needed it.

On the way to the park, the boys started complaining about doing K12. Up until now they've had a really good attitude about homseschooling so this really hit me out of left field. Apparently, the other day they were out riding bikes when Miss Crump, our schools' most popular teacher, was visiting a neighborhood friend. She saw the boys and waved the over. They know her and like all kids at the school, adore her, so they went to talk to her.

She asked which one was Charlie because she was so excited to have Charlie in her class next year. Charlie felt proud that she said she couldn't wait to have him and so he felt sad to tell her "We're going to be homeschooled this year."

"What?? But I want you in my class!" was Miss Crumps' reply.

And so then Charlie, and Xander by extension, are feeling sad about home school. And so was I. Big Time.

When we arrived at the park, I told the other ladies what had happened and they all comforted me. They've been there. Their kids have been there. They admitted, maybe it won't work out. But won't be so glad we tried? And for them, it's all been worth it and their kids all prefer K12.

It just felt so good to be understood. I didn't even tell them about the lunch out with neighbor friends the other day in which they all looked at me like I was a total freak. We went around the table telling our latest news and part of my news was that I was getting ready for school. And the table just fell into dumbfounded silence. No one knew what to say. And so we just moved on. I felt like I was completely alone.

Have you ever felt that way? If you're a homeschooling mom, or if you're thinking of becoming one, I bet you have. How could you not? I think only another homeschooling mom would understand. But that's a post for another day.

For today I wanted to talk about why I continue to feel like I am doing the right thing by keeping my boys home this year.

Oh it would be so easy to send them back to school! They've got great teacher assignments this year and they've got lots of friends and besides, our school is right across the street. How much easier could it get?

But that would be a cop out. I know it in my gut. It's not right for me. There are no guarantees of course. I have no real way of knowing whether homeschooling will be right for us either, but it's something I've got to try.

At the end of my days, I may regret never trying to homeschool my boys when I've had so many feelings that have told me I should do it. However, I'm quite certain I'll never regret trying. Trying will tell me if it's right or not. Trying will teach me so much about myself and my boys. Somewhere deep down, trying will let my boys know that I love them and I'm well, willing to TRY ... for their sake. I choose to try and to have no regrets.

Do I have to be a SuperMom to be a super mom?

This is something the worries the heck out of me.

I think I am just a 'normal' mom; there are some things I do really well, and a lot of things I think I need improvement on.

Recently I met a few K12 moms and first impressions tell me they are SuperMoms. They put their vegetable gardens in on time and take good care of them. They bake bread and put up awesome freezer meals for the month. I could go on and on.

Me? I love my kids, but that's maybe the only thing I'm Super at. And even then there are days I just want to mentally check out, ya know? Some days when I wish my job title was not "MOM". Sometimes I fall behind on housework or groceries or laundry or something and I'm playing catch-up for a whole week (sometimes longer!) trying just to get to a good level playing field where I feel I'm in control again.

Sometimes my boys ask me a question and I just stare at them, my face blank and my only response is "Ahhh. I don't know?"

"I don't know" a lot.

Can I still do this thing? Still have a successful homeschool? Is it really for us regular, average, or even slightly below average, moms?

This was the question first and foremost on my mind when I recently joined the K12 Parent to Parent yahoo group. The responses I received were wonderful, uplifting and encouraging. Basically they all said “you can do it!”

Most of their advice can be summed up in the following quotes that they shared with me:

"A hundred years from now it will not matter what my bank account was, the sort of house I lived in, or the kind of car I drove...but the world may be different because I was important in the life of a child." ~ Author Unknown

“My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?” ~ Erma Bombeck

"The work will wait while you show the child the rainbow, but the rainbow won't wait while
you do the work." ~ Author Unknown

So rest assured that you are not alone in thinking that you are too imperfect to be a successful homeschooling mom. One mom said to me, “loving your kids is ALL you have to be super at” (Linda D. in PA) And that’s the best advice I have to pass on to you.

Love your kids, do what you feel is right and you already are a SuperMom!

Before the Boxes Arrive ~ K12 Speaker Series

Today I attended my first online K12 Seminar with Lori Beverage and Heidi Higgins. It was really good! Up until now when I've thought about the upcoming school year, this has been my response:

"Ahhhhhhhhhh ..................................."

Yeah. That about sums it up!

So I was grateful for today's seminar because it gave me the kick in the pants I needed and taught me just exactly what needs to be done "before the boxes arrive". And I'm going to try to share what I learned with you!

Your To Do List:

Family Routine:

• Think about what might work for your family and plan for it.
• Be flexible and don't expect your days to go exactly as planned.

Priorities:

• Your first priority should always be to your husband and your children.
• Household chores, laundry, dishes and all those things are just distractions from what's really important.

Phone/Door Messages:

• Let callers know that you are busy homeschooling your children between the hours of ... and to call back later.
• Leave a note on your door that you aren't available until after school is done.
• Don't let yourself get distracted by callers on the phone or at the door!

Trim Down Outside Activities & Obligations

• Learn to say "no" when you get those inevitable calls for you to help.
• Limit your childrens activities also to those things that are most important.

Family Preparations

• Family councils or planning sessions prior to school starting can help children, spouse and extended family members come to understand what might be expected once school starts.

Home Preparations

• Food prep ~ you'll have children home all day so you'll need snacks and lunches planned for. Consider crockpot dinners ~ these will help make dinner run more smoothly plus they make your house smell yummy!
  
• Location for books and school supplies. Where will you put all of your materials? Book shelf? Loose bins? There is no set way to do this, you just need to find what works for you.
• Distractions ~ turn off the T.V. and set aside the remote. Put away all things that might tempt your children away from their studies.
• Clutter ~ this is another distraction thing, but the more clutter/distractions, the more difficult it is to concentrate on the school work.
• Laundry ~ this can be a major hurdle for a lot of families. Consider letting your children do their own laundry! If you're not ready for that, at least work on it together so you don't carry the burden of all the work on your own.
• Chores ~ the same goes for chores. Be generous in considering what your children might be able to do to help with the daily chores.

What Space You Will Use:

• You will need access to your computer.
• You'll need space to spread out.
• Some families spread out to the couch, using T.V. trays even for their work. Some use the kitchen table, while others have rooms or offices set aside for their use.
• In the end, do whatever works!

Materials You Will Need:

• You'll need regular school supplies, including pencils, notebooks and loose leaf paper, etc.

Time You Will Spend:

• Print daily or weekly schedules for you to share with your children.
• Make meals a part of your schedule, i.e. snack time is at 10:30, etc.
• Be careful not to over schedule!
• Consider using a dry erase marker on your window or sliding door to write out the schedule.
  
• K12.com has an education plan for your children which you can print out. Add daily chores and other activities like piano practice.
• Be sure to have a cut-off point when you'll be done school for the day and it doesn't drag on and on.
• Consider calling this your kids' Ticket to Freedom, as Heidi calls it ~ when your kids have completed their tasks for their day, they're free~

Best Strategies:

• Plan your school days at the best time for your family, not what works for other people or traditional school. It's all about you and your family.
• Plan 'down-time' activities.
• Make your plan in advance of school starting, so it's ready to go as soon as you need it.
• Plan your meals and snacks in advance.
• Read your education objectives so your goals can be renewed in your mind.
• Materials prep ~ be prepared for each day, it will help you to stay on top of things.
• Don't loose sight of the the PLAN (see Family Routine.)
• Have Fun!
• Read.
• Have a list of friends you can call or talk to online when things get tough.
• Go to the OLS (online school on k12.com) for help.
• See the online tutorials for help.
• Take advantage of yahoo groups ~ you can see the link for the K12 group in my sidebar, but you could also search for k12 groups in your state for more local groups.

Contingency Plans:

You will have your bad days. Or days when school doesn't run to so well, or you're not running so well - or your kids.

• Re-evaluate your priorities.
• Help someone else ~ service.
• Do some different sort of work, preferably physical work, like gardening or household chores.
• Focus on your health. Exercise. Play.
• Read good books together.
• Have a good support group of friends for yourself and your children.
• Music ~ put on some fun, happy music to do your chores to.
• Endurance ~ hang on! Think and act positively and your children will follow suit (plus you'll feel better too.)
• Goals ~ keep your progress sheet handy.

Most of all, 'down days' are a great opportunity for you to model how you can overcome life's challenges!

Lori encouraged us to remember to have fun. She discouraged us from becoming 'box checkers' - so focused on completing the work that we forget what we're doing this for. Enjoy the journey!

Why Homeschool?

This is the question I get all the time from friends and family. I even have to ask myself from time to time!

First off, I have to say, I don't know. I do it because I feel it is right.

But that's just not enough information, is it?

I don't do it because I think the public school system stinks or anything like that. I have a great local school with awesome teachers and administrators.

No, our reason is much more personal and intangible.

I do it because I love my boys and I want to be involved in their learning. I want to see them grow and cheer along with them when they've mastered something and hug them when learning is hard.

I do it because I believe one mom who loves her kids is worth a zillion teachers. Not because I'm the brilliant person on the planet (far from it!) but because I'm capable, willing and--I can't say this often enough--I love my boys.

No one else will love them and therefore want the best for them, as I do. No one else knows their potential, their strengths and weaknesses, as I do.

One of the reasons I went with the K12 program is because they provide the curriculum and they also provide certified teachers who will touch base with my children from time to time and also answer our questions at any time. So I know I won't 'break' my kids or 'ruin' them.

But I can love them, better than anyone else. So between our K12 teacher and a mom who loves them (did I already say that?) my boys are sure to succeed!

So the real question then becomes, Why not homeschool?

Considering the Homeschooling Alternative

I've always been attracted to homeschooling and always thought that I would homeschool my kids. But when my twin boys were learning their ABC's and learning to how to read, their distinct differences really through me for a loop and I didn't feel up to the challenge.

Xander learned from me, and everything was great. He learned his ABC's quickly and grasped the concept of reading right away.

However, Charlie fought me at every turn. And worse, he seemed to take the low road when compared with Xander. The more Xan mastered something, the more Charlie pulled away from that subject or skill and went the complete opposite. He refused to learn from me, and his mantra became "I can't."

Oh how I came to hate those two little words!

On top of it all, the boys were developing a strong dislike for one another and I worried about their relationship in the years to come. They were each others only brother--I felt they needed to be friends, they needed to be each other's support, love and encouragement in their lifetime.

So, I did what I might have said I would never, ever do. I put my guys into preschool.

*gasp*horror*

And you know? It was the best thing I ever did.

They only went for the second semester of one year and I put them into a developmentally challenged preschool as the 'typically developing peers'. This gave them the opportunity to feel really great about their own skills, but also to develop some compassion and empathy for others. Oh, and they were in separate classes!

By the end of the school year my guys liked each other again and there was harmony once more in my home.

But my experiences trying to teach Charlie had made me doubt myself and I was afraid to try again, so I sent them to public school (we have an awesome school right across the street from my house) which is where they have stayed for the last few years.

Through it all, I have always told the boys that one day, I might homeschool them. And surprise, surprise, they came to me toward the end of the school year this year and said they wanted to be homeschooled!

I know! Imagine my amazement! Happily I took them up on it. Little did they know I had already been taking some steps toward the same end, but our public school has such awesome teachers in grade three, I thought my homework and research would be put into use for the next year. I had no idea my guys would request to homeschooled so soon.

While researching homeschooling in Utah, I found the K12 site and entered my boys into their enrollment lottery. They lost. All this was before the boys' big announcement so I thought it was just as well. Amazingly, shortly after they told me they wanted to be homeschooled, I was notified that two spots had opened up for them and the boys had been accepted into K12's Utah Virtual Academy.

So that's where we are today! My boys are almost eight years old and will be going into grade three in the Fall. Well, August 26th, actually, as that's when school starts with the UTVA. I have made one small adjustment, and that is that I have chosen to transfer to the Washington County Online School rather than the UTVA because I have found some wonderful people to work with at that school and I feel more comfortable with the chain of communication. It's a small change though and really impacts little in terms of the type of school experience we expect to have.

I have started this blog in an effort to document our K12 adventure for your interest and for my sanity. I really find it helps me to write things down--always preferring to sort my problems out through the written word than in any other way.

If you're a K12 mom or a homeschooling mom, or any kind of mom, feel free to post your comments or questions. We can learn and grow together!