Monday, November 15, 2010

Taking a Break

I'm going to take a break from blogging here for the foreseeable future. If you need to reach me, feel free to email me; inetsupergrrl at yahoo dot com.

Or, visit my regular blog here.

Monday, November 8, 2010

Happy Mom Moments

This weekend we attended a Bobby Lawrence Karate tournament. The boys have taken karate for four years, even David and I did it for a couple years. Xander has competed at each of the two tournaments every years since they started. And for the first couple years, Charlie competed too.

Then he got tired of always losing ~ of sometimes being the only one in his division who didn't win anything at all. Participation ribbons seem like a good idea ~ except when your brother is bringing home trophies and all you have is a box full of silky tokens.

It takes a lot of courage to try again. Especially when you have so much proof that convinces you it's not going to be worth it. I was so proud that after a break from tournaments for a year, Charlie wanted to compete again. He's been showing more committment lately, and has been practicing more than he used to; but he still has a long way to go. I was so afraid he'd lose again, though, and any forward progression he's made would be lost. I prayed and prayed that he would have a positive experience.

When it came time for Charlie to perform, I held my breath. I wanted so much for him ~ and was so afraid for him.

He forgot most of his form, and instead of ending strong, like we'd practiced, he just kind of shrugged and left the ring.

He forgot most of his weapons form, just kind of threw his hands up in the air, and left the ring.

His last class, self-defense, was up. We'd worked hard on these, but we thought he'd be able to have Xander as his partner, and now he had to do it with a boy he didn't know and might not do the approach the same way Charlie'd practiced.

His turn came up. And Charlie did GREAT.

And, he won third place for self-defense!

Xan placed first in forms, weapons and self-defense for his division (he's in a different belt class than Charlie.)

So, here's my very proud mom moment. Believe it or not, it didn't end with Charlie finally winning a medal. As we were leaving, Charlie seemed sad. When I asked him what was wrong, he said he wished he'd given his medal to the boy who didn't win anything. There was one child there, one out of seven kids, who didn't win anything, who went home with only a participation ribbon. And Charlie knows exactly how that feels. He looked around for the boy, but he'd already left.
 Xander & Charlie

That was my proud mom moment. And it was a moment born out of all the pain Charlie has felt from so many losses. And then I thought, maybe losing isn't so bad after all.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Book Review ~ The Unmotivated Child

The Unmotivated Child: Helping Your Underachiever Become a Successful StudentThe Unmotivated Child: Helping Your Underachiever Become a Successful Student by Natalie Rathvon

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I've read a lot of parenting books and a lot of schooling books (I school my two boys at home) and I've finally found the book that describes my child.

He didn't quite fit with the ADD profiles, nor any of the other psychological acronyms that would help me understand why my boy would break down in tears over a math problem.

He'd do great one day, and then everything would fall apart the next. I couldn't understand it! Finally, though, I have a glimpse into what's been going on with my son.

I wasn't thrilled to discover that a lot of his problems might stem from a failure to securely attach to us, his parents, as an infant and young child, but ... I can't deny it's a possibility. As a premature baby, with time in the NICU and a very demanding attention-seeking twin brother, my easy-going, sweet baby was often left to wait until I took care of the noisier baby first.

The Unmotivated Child helps you identify whether your child is suffering from this particular problem and how to discover what brand of problem his lack of attachment has developed. It teaches you ways to reach out to your child, primarily using effective communication skills that are easy to understand--though implementing them might take a lot of practice.

I'm looking forward to communicating with my son better and hope it will have a positive effect on his school experiences, and on his life in general. Mostly though, I'm just so grateful for a little insight into my own child who I love so much but just couldn't understand.

View all my reviews